Jesus fuck, what is wrong with me? The other night... when I went to meet up with Hayden, I was completely a different person. I'd really like to say that it was the alcohol, but I'd only managed a glass of scotch before Hayden came waltzing in, landing himself in my fucking lap. Whatever happened to personal space? Well, Hayden's never really had any concept of personal space, at least none that I've ever noticed. Which explains his choice of employment, but regardless!
I mean, a few joking comments about how I haven't been laid in a while somehow lead to me having some cute waiter fucking go down on me? In the middle of the club? And... and I fucking enjoyed it! Well, I'm a man. A blowjob is a blowjob, regardless of how good it was. But that's not the point. The point is, I'm not usually like that. I don't pay for sex. I don't let random strangers suck me off in a public venue. I don't pay random strangers to suck me off in a public venue while my brother watches.
And if that wasn't enough, I kissed him before I left. I fucking kissed my goddamned BROTHER!! I must be really fucked up, or sick, or both to do something like that. Bottom line? It can't ever happen again. I know that Hayden was just trying to get to me, but I've got to draw lines, and I'm drawing them.
*sighs* And I was so fucked up during my Wednesday morning appointment, and I could just see the accusations in Sandra's eyes when I came in. And as much as I'd like to pretend that I don't care what she thinks - I do. Because she's a friend, and a collegue, and while I have no intention of moving our relationship forward in a romantic sense, I'd prefer it if she didn't completely hate me.
Morning gorgeous. Just wanted to drop a line and make sure that blowjob didn't send you into shock or something. Wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner this week sometime, since my schedule is a bit looser lately.
Are we kissing after dinner again? If so, I'll remember to bring some mentos. Call me.
Gorgeous? Being awfully generous with our compliments lately, aren't we? And don't worry. My brain is not permanently scrambled or anything, although give my compliments to Tommy.
Where did you want to go for dinner? And I like mentos. They're better than those crap mints they give you with the cheque.
I'm not sure what that was, Hayden. It was just... I don't know. It just happened and then I was gone and it was done and I can't offer you any explanation, even though I've had time to think about it. I mean, you're my brother. And I shouldn't have, but I did and... Jesus. What does that fucking mean?
*shrugs, then realizes you can't see him* It means you kissed me. I don't mind, Tove. And it certainly doesn't hurt my feelings that you did it. *smirks a bit* Just don't freak out over it. Not really surprising seeing as how you just got your first blowjob in the last twenty years. *smirk*
Hey... I'll have you know.. you know what? Never mind. And for the record, my last blowjob was not when I was thirteen, fuckface. And when it was really isn't any of your fucking business. Which is to say, that getting one the other night shouldn't have resulted in my mouth coming in contact with yours.
Oh, and I'm so glad that your feelings weren't hurt, precious. Because if they were, I might feel compelled to rush out and buy you flowers or something to help you come to terms with the wrong that I had done you. *rolls eyes for his own benefit*
*raised eyebrow* Oh, would you really? That's really fucking sweet. But baby, if you were going to try and compensate me, maybe get me a bouquet of condoms instead. They'll last longer and are more useful to me. Well. They're more useful to me, anyway.
Okay. Stop it. You're starting to freak me out.. like a fucking lot. So, dinner. Sushi? No. Indian? Help me out here.
Condoms are best used for water balloons. That was the one thing I learned when I was old enough to buy them without my face burning up. Ahh... the good ol' years.
Sushi and indian? *thinks about how fucking thin you are and isn't sure you can eat that much* Are you sure? I mean, it's doable, but really?
Back when I used to beat your ass into the floor. Which I can still do, by the way. *chuckles softly* Regardless of what you think.
*swallows at the bit about failing, feeling suddenly warm and awkward* Well... whatever then.
Early dinner is fine with me. I should hopefully be out of the office by five at the latest, but I'll see what I can work. I mean, I'm a gynocologist. It's not like I'm booked from the morning through to closing. Not that many women need to see the gyno during the day. If such was the case I'd be worried.
*adds and a bit sick to my stomach mentally*
Trust me, looking at a cervix all day does not turn you on. Or at least it doesn't turn me on. Besides, a woman sitting on a medical examination table with her feet in stirups? Not exactly sexy, either. Although I can vaguely see how someone might find it... never mind. I'm never going to look at my office the same way now.
Not grumpy. Just... tired. Or something. *smiles affectionately, apparent in his voice* Always were quick on the draw, little brother. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll finalize dinner plans. Or would you rather I just surpise you? Show up at your place and say "we're heading out"? Because I can do that.