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Jesus fuck, what is wrong with me? The other night... when I went to meet up with hcexotixHayden, I was completely a different person. I'd really like to say that it was the alcohol, but I'd only managed a glass of scotch before hcexotixHayden came waltzing in, landing himself in my fucking lap. Whatever happened to personal space? Well, hcexotixHayden's never really had any concept of personal space, at least none that I've ever noticed. Which explains his choice of employment, but regardless!

I mean, a few joking comments about how I haven't been laid in a while somehow lead to me having some cute waiter fucking go down on me? In the middle of the club? And... and I fucking enjoyed it! Well, I'm a man. A blowjob is a blowjob, regardless of how good it was. But that's not the point. The point is, I'm not usually like that. I don't pay for sex. I don't let random strangers suck me off in a public venue. I don't pay random strangers to suck me off in a public venue while my brother watches.

And if that wasn't enough, I kissed him before I left. I fucking kissed my goddamned BROTHER!! I must be really fucked up, or sick, or both to do something like that. Bottom line? It can't ever happen again. I know that Hayden was just trying to get to me, but I've got to draw lines, and I'm drawing them.

*sighs* And I was so fucked up during my Wednesday morning appointment, and I could just see the accusations in tc_secSandra's eyes when I came in. And as much as I'd like to pretend that I don't care what she thinks - I do. Because she's a friend, and a collegue, and while I have no intention of moving our relationship forward in a romantic sense, I'd prefer it if she didn't completely hate me.
Current Location:
the office
Current Mood:
contemplative conflicted
Current Music:
silence
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[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 02:39 am (UTC), hcexotix commented:
Morning gorgeous. Just wanted to drop a line and make sure that blowjob didn't send you into shock or something. Wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner this week sometime, since my schedule is a bit looser lately.

Are we kissing after dinner again? If so, I'll remember to bring some mentos. Call me.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 02:49 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
returning your message
Gorgeous? Being awfully generous with our compliments lately, aren't we? And don't worry. My brain is not permanently scrambled or anything, although give my compliments to Tommy.

Where did you want to go for dinner? And I like mentos. They're better than those crap mints they give you with the cheque.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 02:55 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
You're right. I'm being far too generous. And give him your own compliments - I don't spend a lot of time talking to the waiters.

Somewhere dark and sexy, where they don't serve crappy mints.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Excuse me for even implying that you fraternize with the other staff. I'll be sure to pass along my praise.

Dark and sexy? What kind of food do we have in mind exactly?
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Quite. I don't get paid to fraternize with the staff, darling.

.. Mm.. *voice a low purr* Finger food.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 03:56 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Never said that you did, sweetums.

*raised eyebrow, though you don't see* Finger food. Huh. I'll check around. Know of any good places? You know I'm a good cook, we can always just stay in, if you want.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Just so we know.

Can you make mouth watering, orgasmic treats that I can lick of my fingers in a fit of ecstasy?
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 03:59 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
... I'll see what I can do? Can't say that's something that's ever been requested. But if not, I'll find a good restaurant as a back up.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 06:05 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Sounds good. *slight pause* I'm kind of serious about that kiss, though. Was that just.. euphoria from the blowjob or something else? *tone says he doesn't care what the answer is, just curious and thinking about you*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
I'm not sure what that was, Hayden. It was just... I don't know. It just happened and then I was gone and it was done and I can't offer you any explanation, even though I've had time to think about it. I mean, you're my brother. And I shouldn't have, but I did and... Jesus. What does that fucking mean?
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 06:57 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*shrugs, then realizes you can't see him* It means you kissed me. I don't mind, Tove. And it certainly doesn't hurt my feelings that you did it. *smirks a bit* Just don't freak out over it. Not really surprising seeing as how you just got your first blowjob in the last twenty years. *smirk*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:05 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Hey... I'll have you know.. you know what? Never mind. And for the record, my last blowjob was not when I was thirteen, fuckface. And when it was really isn't any of your fucking business. Which is to say, that getting one the other night shouldn't have resulted in my mouth coming in contact with yours.

Oh, and I'm so glad that your feelings weren't hurt, precious. Because if they were, I might feel compelled to rush out and buy you flowers or something to help you come to terms with the wrong that I had done you. *rolls eyes for his own benefit*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:07 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*raised eyebrow* Oh, would you really? That's really fucking sweet. But baby, if you were going to try and compensate me, maybe get me a bouquet of condoms instead. They'll last longer and are more useful to me. Well. They're more useful to me, anyway.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:10 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Oh, muffin. You know I'd do anything to cheer you when you are saddened. It is my brotherly duty to do so. But a boquet of condoms? Can you even -- you know what? Don't answer that.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:11 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
You can do anything with condoms, brother dearest. I'll tell you a nice bedtime story one day. *smirk*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:13 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Okay. Stop it. You're starting to freak me out.. like a fucking lot. So, dinner. Sushi? No. Indian? Help me out here.

Condoms are best used for water balloons. That was the one thing I learned when I was old enough to buy them without my face burning up. Ahh... the good ol' years.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
How about sushi and then Indian? Pretty please?

Yeah. Good old years. *smirks, because when he started buying condoms, he WAS 13*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:27 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Sushi and indian? *thinks about how fucking thin you are and isn't sure you can eat that much* Are you sure? I mean, it's doable, but really?

Back when I used to beat your ass into the floor. Which I can still do, by the way. *chuckles softly* Regardless of what you think.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*smirk* I'm sure you can do a lot more than beat it.

And yes, I'm sure that I want sushi and Indian.
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On July 9th, 2006 07:39 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Can't you say anything at all that isn't loaded with innuendo?

I'll take a look around and find some good places to go. When are you thinking? I'm pretty well open to whenever.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:57 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Tove, I take my clothes off for a living while I'm in men's laps. My entire life in innuendo.

Whenever you have the time. Just make sure it's after 10 or before 5.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:59 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Point. Can't you say anything that isn't loaded with innuendo in regards to me? Or at least try.

Five am or pm? I'll see what I can find. I'll give you a call later this week, maybe?
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:01 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Five PM. We could have dinner at three if you'd like. If I'm not home, leave a message.

*smirk* Of course I could try.. but I'd fail.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:08 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
*swallows at the bit about failing, feeling suddenly warm and awkward* Well... whatever then.

Early dinner is fine with me. I should hopefully be out of the office by five at the latest, but I'll see what I can work. I mean, I'm a gynocologist. It's not like I'm booked from the morning through to closing. Not that many women need to see the gyno during the day. If such was the case I'd be worried.

*adds and a bit sick to my stomach mentally*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:10 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
I don't know how you do what you do. I don't have anything against women, but that's a.. less than fun job, I imagine.
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On July 9th, 2006 08:13 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Trust me, looking at a cervix all day does not turn you on. Or at least it doesn't turn me on. Besides, a woman sitting on a medical examination table with her feet in stirups? Not exactly sexy, either. Although I can vaguely see how someone might find it... never mind. I'm never going to look at my office the same way now.

[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Mm.. now, if those were boys, I don't think I'd ever leave your office. *smirks* Think of all the fun experiments you could do.. for medical purposes, of course..
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:28 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
The only job I can think of involving men would be enjoyable would be a specialist in penile functionalities.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:39 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*grins against the phone* Really.. it's a shame there's no job where you can just spend your days rimming pretty boys. *laughs* Oh wait. There is.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:45 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Never took you for a top, Hayden. Seeing as you love to be told what to do and how. Freakishly good at following instructions. Maybe you should have joined the army. *smirk evident in his voice*
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:56 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
I can top. I'm quite good at topping, actually. *smirks* And ew, army. I like my men clean. Mostly.. *purr* A bit of sweat and mud is nice sometimes, though.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:57 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
*takes a moment to imagine taking orders from Hayden* *is surprised by just how much of a turn-on that is* Huh.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 08:59 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*raised eyebrow* That didn't really fit into the conversation all that well. *teasing tone* Where did your mind go, brother mine?
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 09:01 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
*lets out a long suffering sigh* Maybe I just had no response to your comment, small fry. Ever think of that? I'm a grown man with pleanty of self control.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 09:15 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Fair enough. *amused tone* I can tell you're grumpy, so perhaps I should let you get back to whatever is important in your life at this exact moment.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 09:22 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Not grumpy. Just... tired. Or something. *smiles affectionately, apparent in his voice* Always were quick on the draw, little brother. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll finalize dinner plans. Or would you rather I just surpise you? Show up at your place and say "we're heading out"? Because I can do that.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 09:23 am (UTC), hcexotix replied:
*smiles a bit, because he hasn't actually smiled in a long time* Yeah.. that would be nice.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 09:30 am (UTC), tc_gyn replied:
Okay then, kiddo. See you soon. Love you.
[User Picture]
On July 9th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC), hcexotix replied:
Mmhmm. Love you too. *grins into the phone* Bye.
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